Connections, Attachments, and Entanglements

Photo of author
By Gabriel Gonsalves

Personal mastery, leadership development, and spiritual growth with the heart in mind. 

What is the difference between connections, attachments, and entanglements? While many spiritual teachers, experts, and gurus would like us to believe that getting attached or entangled with someone is not good for you, I disagree. In today’s post, I share my reasons why.


The story usually goes something like this…

You meet someone you feel an instant connection with. Then, you get attached, VERY attached. Finally, you get so entangled with each other that all you want to do is run for your life!

Sounds familiar?

While many spiritual teachers, experts, and gurus would like us to believe that getting attached or entangled with someone is not good for you, I disagree.

Just like our physical heart is connected to all major organs, attached to the pericardium, and entangled in an intricate web of veins, arteries, and nerves, we too are hardwired to connect, attach, and get entangled with each other.

Connections are how we experience each other through giving and receiving. This is what allows us to know ourselves in relationship to others.

Attachments are connections that, over time, become solidified, joined, or deeply ingrained so that we can continue to grow, experience, and support one another.

Entanglements are attachments that help us uncover a complex web of unconscious beliefs, emotional wounds, and karmic patterns that connect us to others. When made conscious, these can bring about much healing. 

We Are Wired for Connection

The problem is never in being connected, attached, or entangled with another person. We are hardwired for all three.

Without connections, you could not experience yourself or others.

Without attachment to its mother, a child would not be able to survive in today’s world. 

Without entanglements, you would never become aware of the unseen forces that connect you to others or discover the broken aspects of yourself that are in desperate need of healing. 

Where the Problem Lies

The problem arises when we lose ourselves along the way and can no longer tell where we end, and the other person begins.

When you mistake other people’s feelings for your own.

When you become dependent on other people’s thoughts, feelings, or opinions about you.

When you build your life around another person’s life or become the center of theirs.

When you become so obsessed with another person, you lose connection with yourself, your values, and what matters most to you.

When you put your life and dreams on hold, waiting for another person to change, heal, or behave differently.

The problem begins when you forget who you are and make another person or something outside of yourself the source of your happiness, love, and well-being.

The problem ends when you remember that the true source of joy, love, and well-being lives primarily inside you.

“Who looks inside dreams. Who looks outside awakens.”

Carl G. Jung

From my heart to yours,