Nothing Will Change Unless you Do These Three Things

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By Gabriel Gonsalves

Personal mastery, leadership development, and spiritual growth with the heart in mind. 

These three things changed my life. And I know they can do the same for you. They will help you start creating the changes in your life that your heart is longing for and grow into the person you ultimately came here to be.


Twelve years ago, my life sucked. I was working for a non-profit organization that couldn’t afford to pay me, and I was tirelessly working on several projects that required much energy but hardly saw any financial gain. As a result, I always felt stressed about money and anxious about the future.

Almost every night, I’d go to sleep thinking about how I wasn’t living the life I knew in my heart I came here to live. Things had to change, but I had no idea where to begin. 

I remember this one night when I felt so helpless and alone that I just wished I would not wake up the next day. “Dear God,” I prayed before falling asleep. “I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s too painful. Take me home, or please change things for me!”

When I woke up, I looked around to see if my prayer had been answered, but nothing had changed. I still felt the same way. That’s when I noticed the following thought in my head…

“No one is coming, Gabriel. No one will come to rescue you, save you, tell you everything will be okay or fix things for you. No one is coming to pay your rent, bail you out, and take care of you. No one is coming until you first take full responsibility for yourself, commit to change, and ask for the support you need.”

My prayer was answered, but not in the way I hoped. The change I desperately wanted depended on the wisdom I had just received. And my life today is the result of having done precisely those three things. 

Nothing Will Change Until You Do

Whatever difficult life situation you find yourself in, nothing will change until you do the following three things: 

1. Take Full Responsibility for Yourself

The same energy used to create the mess you find yourself in can be used to uncreate it. To take full responsibility for yourself is to take full ownership of your life experience and begin to see yourself as the creator of it. Your current situation results from some previous choices and actions you’ve made – both consciously and unconsciously. This is the beginning of personal responsibility and the first step required to make meaningful changes. 

2. Make the Commitment to Change

Every master was first a disaster. If your life sucks and you’re feeling deeply dissatisfied with where you are, what if you could start seeing your current situation as an invitation to grow? What if you could use what’s happening to you as an opportunity to let go of all the excuses, addictions, or negative patterns that are holding you back from having what you want? Mastery means you commit to learning from your experience and begin to choose differently.  

3. Ask for the Support you Need

If someone is watching, you’ll pedal faster. When making profound, meaningful changes in your life, you’ll need someone to help you and keep you accountable. Ask for support from a trusted teacher, coach, mentor, guide, or friend who has already mastered what you’ve been struggling with. You’re not meant to do it all alone, and you’re certainly not the only person in the world dealing with this issue. Let down your pride and ask for help.

Three Questions for You

If you fully desire to transform your current circumstances and make big, meaningful changes, let me ask you…

  1. Are you willing to take full responsibility for yourself and start to do things differently starting today?
  2. Are you ready to finally commit to the changes you want to see by seeing your current circumstances as an invitation to grow?
  3. Is there someone you know who might be able to help you or support you? If so, are you willing to ask for their help?

Responsibility, commitment, and support. These three things changed my life, and I know they can do the same for you. They will help you start creating the changes in your life that your heart is longing for and grow into the person you ultimately came here to be.

From my heart to yours,