For People Who Love Too Much

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By Gabriel Gonsalves

Personal mastery, leadership development, and spiritual growth with the heart in mind. 

People Who Love Too Much

Love is a beautiful thing. It gives us the ability to connect with others and form deep, meaningful relationships. However, there is such a thing as loving too much. When you overdo it, you risk smothering the people you love and pushing them away. So, if you’ve ever wondered how much love is enough, this week I’d like to share some thoughts that might change how you love others you’re in relationship with.


Love, oh love. It’s a beautiful feeling that has the power to make us feel fully alive, appreciated, and joyfully fulfilled. We all want to be loved, feel that we are valued, and that we matter to someone else. These are fundamental human needs. But, as with most things in life, too much of a good thing can be damaging. In some cases, loving someone too much can even cause the relationship to suffer as a result. Maybe even come to an end.

Have you ever overwatered a plant? Or perhaps overfed your dog or cat? In most cases, the plants either rotted or became sick, and the same thing happened to our pets. Similarly, when you love someone too much, you create disharmony in the relationship and can even make them resentful. It can also create a sense of suffocation and make the person feel trapped.

Love is not about controlling someone or possessing them; it’s about supporting, caring, nurturing and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. When given, it must be given freely, wholeheartedly, without expectations, and from the overflow of our heart’s content.

What a Baby Can Teach you About Love

Think of a small baby. They are entirely dependent on you as their caregiver to provide for their needs. However, a baby knows how much they need and when they need it. And they’ll make sure to let you know by either crying or becoming upset! The same thing when they are fully satisfied. Our job as caregivers is to anticipate their needs and provide them with what they need at the right time. Similarly, in our relationships, our primary duty is to cultivate a way of being that is loving, caring, and compassionate, that will support our partners when they most need it.

The Key to a Healthy Relationship

The key to a healthy relationship is balance. Too little love can make someone feel neglected and unimportant. On the other hand, too much love can be overwhelming and suffocating. Therefore, it’s crucial to find the right balance of love and attention that works for both partners.

In a healthy relationship, there must be harmony between giving and receiving. When your partner stops showing their affection, it’s common to try to compensate by over-giving. And the more you overcompensate, the less incentive your partner has to reciprocate the love you’ve been giving. This dynamic may give you a sense of control, but it can harm the harmony of the relationship. It can also create co-dependency.

It’s essential to recognize that our partners are not responsible for our happiness or emotional well-being. Nor are we responsible for theirs. We need to take care of ourselves and cultivate a sense of inter-dependence and self-sufficiency. When we rely too much on our partners for emotional support, we can drain them emotionally, and this can put a strain on the relationship.

So, How Much Love is Enough?

If you’re someone who loves too much in your relationships, finding the balance between giving and receiving can be a challenge. To help you create this balance, here are a few tips that can help:

Practice Self-Awareness: Before you can find balance in your relationships, you need to be aware of your own emotional needs and limitations. Take some time to reflect on what you need from your partner, as well as what you’re capable of giving. This will help you set healthy boundaries and avoid overextending yourself.

Practice mindful giving: Pay close attention to your partner’s needs. This means that you must be willing to listen and to communicate with your partner to truly understand what they want and need. At the same time, be aware of your needs and limitations. Giving more than you can afford to give, or giving so much that you feel depleted or resentful. So, be sure to strike a balance between giving to your partner and taking care of yourself.

Learn to Say No: Learning to say no can be a challenging yet essential skill in maintaining a healthy relationship with your loved ones, particularly your partner. It is crucial to understand that saying no does not imply that you do not love or care for them. It merely means that you recognize your limitations, prioritize your well-being, and respect your boundaries.

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Rather than trying to do as much as possible for your partner, focus on the quality of your giving. Ensure that what you give is meaningful and impactful, and that it aligns with your partner’s needs and desires. Taking the time to plan and execute meaningful gestures can go a long way in strengthening your bond and demonstrating your love and commitment.

Practice Self-Love: Loving yourself is an essential part of finding balance in your relationships. Make time for self-care practices, including self-compassion. This will help you cultivate a sense of inner peace and balance that you can bring to your relationships. It will also help you build a reservoir of love you can share when your partner most needs it.

Check with yourself: Are you over-giving is a way to compensate for something you lack or need? Sometimes, when we feel a lack of love or support in our lives, we try to overcompensate by showering our partner with love and attention. This can be a form of seeking validation or reassurance that we are lovable and worthy of love. It’s important to recognize when this is happening and address any underlying issues through therapy, self-inquiry or self-reflection. Ask for feedback: Everyone has different love languages, and what feels like love to one person may not feel the same way to another. Therefore, check in with your partner and ask them what makes them feel loved and appreciated. Simply ask them, “Am I overdoing it?” This can help you understand their needs and adjust your behavior accordingly, which can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

In conclusion, loving someone too much can be detrimental to a relationship. The key is giving the love you can give each moment, without depleting yourself or over-giving, being mindful of your partner’s needs as well as yours. If you’re someone who loves too much, the above suggestions will help you cultivate greater harmony between giving and receiving in all your relationships.

In this, your heart is your master teacher.

From my heart to yours,

People Who Love Too Much