Picture this: You’ve just achieved a significant milestone in your career, yet instead of feeling proud and accomplished, you’re consumed by an overwhelming sense of self-doubt and fear. You feel unworthy. You question whether you truly deserve your success, wondering when others will finally expose you as a fraud. If this scenario feels all too familiar, you’re not alone. This is the essence of impostor syndrome, a psychological phenomenon that affects countless individuals across various fields and walks of life.
But what if I told you that these feelings of inadequacy, far from being a hindrance, could actually be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and transformation? In this article, we’ll explore the surprising truth about impostor syndrome and discover how, by fully embracing it, you can unlock your true potential and lead yourself towards a path of authentic success and fulfillment.
The Roots of Impostor Syndrome
The Impostor syndrome, the feeling of being a fraud despite evidence of success, is a universal experience that can actually fuel personal transformation when embraced with curiosity and self-compassion. To understand impostor syndrome, let’s first explore its origins. The term was coined in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. They observed that many high-achieving individuals, particularly women, were unable to internalize and accept their success. Despite compelling evidence of their competence, these individuals attributed their accomplishments to external factors such as luck, timing, or deception, rather than their own abilities and efforts.
Since then, research has shown that impostor syndrome is a pervasive and universal experience, affecting people from all backgrounds and professions. In fact, the higher the level of success, the greater the impostor syndrome. A study conducted by the International Journal of Behavioral Science found that an estimated 70% of individuals will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. However, the true scope of the issue is often underestimated, and its potential as a tool for growth is rarely discussed.
The Impostor Cycle and Its Surprising Upside
One of the trickiest aspects of impostor syndrome is the self-perpetuating cycle it creates. When faced with a new challenge or opportunity, you may respond in one of two ways: over-preparation or procrastination. You either invest excessive time and energy into perfecting your work, or you avoid the task entirely, paralyzed by the fear of failure. In either case, the outcome is rarely satisfying, as you attribute your success to your efforts rather than your abilities, or you berate yourself for not meeting your own unrealistic standards.
However, what if we could reframe the impostor cycle as an opportunity for growth? The very fact that impostor syndrome arises when we’re stepping outside our comfort zones suggests that it could be a sign of feelings of vulnerability and shame that need to be embraced. By recognizing impostor syndrome as an opportunity for healing and growth, you can approach it with curiosity and self-compassion rather than fear and self-judgment.
The Shame Connection
Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and author, has extensively studied shame and vulnerability. Her work sheds light on the connection between imposter syndrome and shame. In her book “Daring Greatly,” she writes, “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”
When you experience imposter syndrome, you may feel exposed and vulnerable, as if your flaws and shortcomings are on display for all to see. This sense of vulnerability often triggers feelings of shame, leading you to believe that you are not good enough or deserving of your success. However, Brown’s research shows that vulnerability is not a weakness, but rather a strength. By embracing vulnerability and leaning into the discomfort, you open yourself up to authentic connection, growth, and transformation.
My Personal Journey
I remember when I first started my coaching business. I had years of experience and training under my belt, but I still felt like an impostor. I would compare myself to other coaches who had been in the industry longer or had a larger following, and I would feel as if I wasn’t good enough. It took a lot of inner work and self-reflection to realize that these feelings were a natural part of the growth process.
I had to learn to embrace my own unique voice and approach, even if it felt uncomfortable at times. I had to remind myself that I was on a journey of mastery, and that every experience, whether it felt like a success or a failure, was an opportunity to learn and improve. As I began to lean into the impostor feelings and view them as a sign of growth, I found that I was able to show up more fully and authentically in my work.
The Way Out is Through
The key to overcoming imposter syndrome lies in understanding that the way out is through. Rather than trying to avoid or suppress these feelings of inadequacy, vulnerability, or shame, you must learn to embrace them as a natural part of the growth process. When you fully immerse yourself in the present moment, doing what you love and aligning your actions with your values and aspirations, there is no room for self-doubt, fear, or shame.
For example, when I became fully present with each client and truly listened to their problems, focusing on serving them and providing the best coaching I could offer, the feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, or shame completely disappeared in that moment. I was fully aligned with the kind of coach I wanted to be.
A Symptom of Misalignment
Impostor syndrome is often a symptom of misalignment – a sign that you’re not living in accordance with your true self or the person you’ve chosen to be. When you feel unworthy or undeserving of success, or when you haven’t yet become the person you know you’re meant to be, it’s a clear indication that you need to realign yourself mentally, emotionally, and through your actions.
It’s important to acknowledge that if you feel like an impostor, there may be some truth to those feelings. However, rather than letting them define you, use them as a catalyst for self-reflection and growth. Ask yourself:
- In what ways am I not being true to myself?
- What actions can I take to align my life with my values and aspirations?
By validating your feelings and using them as a guide, you can begin to bridge the gap between who you are and who you want to be.
Don’t Fake it Until You Make It
We all have to start somewhere, gradually growing into the person we aspire to be. As T. Harv Eker often says, every master was once a disaster. Instead of falling into the trap of “fake it until you make it,” how about adopting a mindset of “feel it until you become it”?
Feeling it until you become it means that if you want to be a successful writer, for example, you must do what successful writers do, think like a successful writer, develop the habits of a successful writer, and feel like a successful writer. The feeling is the key and an indication that you’re fully aligned.
When you’re fully in alignment with who you’ve chosen to be, as Steve Chandler, a renowned author and coach, reminds us, impostor syndrome becomes just a passing thought you release whenever it shows up in your mind.
Strategies for Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
While impostor syndrome can feel like an insurmountable obstacle, there are practical steps you can take to break free from its grip and cultivate a more authentic and empowered sense of self.
Here are seven strategies to consider:
Acknowledge your feelings: The first step in overcoming impostor syndrome is to recognize and validate your experiences. When feelings of vulnerability, self-doubt, unworthiness, or shame arise, take a moment to acknowledge them without judgment. Place a hand over your heart, take a series of deep breaths, and deeply allow these feelings. Remember that these feelings are a normal part of the human experience and do not define your worth or abilities.
Practice self-inquiry: Set aside time for an honest conversation with yourself. Ask yourself questions like:
- From what part of my personality are these thoughts or feelings coming from? Is it from the part of me that feels I’m not enough, or another part of me, perhaps wounded by certain traumas or past experiences?
- What capacities, skills, or abilities do I feel I’m lacking?
- How can I develop and master these new skills?
By bringing greater awareness to the root causes of your impostor syndrome, you can develop targeted strategies to address them. If you discover that your feelings stem from a perceived lack of skills or preparedness, take proactive steps to develop those areas and build your confidence.
Reframe your thoughts: Challenge the negative self-talk and beliefs that fuel impostor syndrome. Instead of focusing on your perceived inadequacies, shift your attention to your strengths, accomplishments, and the value you bring to the table. Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a friend.
Embrace a growth mindset: Adopt a mindset that views challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than evidence of failure. Embrace the idea that your abilities are not fixed, but can be developed and expanded through effort and practice. As Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck notes, “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point.”
Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, mentors, and colleagues who believe in you and can provide encouragement and guidance. Share your experiences with trusted confidants and seek out communities where you can connect with others who have faced similar challenges. Remember that you are not alone in this struggle, and that there is strength in vulnerability and connection.
Align your actions with your values: When you find yourself thinking, “I’m such a fraud,” take a moment to pause and realign yourself with your true self. Say to yourself, “Cancel. I am not subject to these feelings of shame. I release them and refuse them. I am an infinite being, worthy of success.” By aligning your actions with your values and aspirations, you can begin to transcend the limiting beliefs that hold you back.
Celebrate your successes: Make a habit of acknowledging and celebrating your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Keep a journal or record of your accomplishments and refer to it when impostor feelings arise. Recognize that your successes are a result of your hard work, talent, and dedication, not luck or chance.
Embracing the Journey
Overcoming impostor syndrome is not a one-time event, but rather a lifelong journey of self-discovery and growth. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace vulnerability and discomfort. Along the way, there will be setbacks and challenges, but these are simply part of the process. As the renowned author and speaker Maya Angelou once said, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
By reframing impostor syndrome as an opportunity for growth and embracing the power of vulnerability, you can begin to unlock your true potential and cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling sense of self—a self that feels worthy, valuable, capable, and confident.
Final Thoughts
Remember, you are not an impostor, but a work in progress, constantly evolving and expanding into the person you were meant to be. As you embark on this inner work and reclaim your inherent, God-given worthiness, you may begin to recognize impostor syndrome as an old friend, there to remind you of that part of you that feels broken or unworthy. Rather than pushing these feelings away, embrace them and say, “I love you, you’re a part of me, and an integral part of my success.” By acknowledging and accepting these aspects of yourself, you can transform them into sources of strength and resilience.
So, the next time you feel like an impostor, I invite you to lean into the discomfort and embrace it as a natural part of the journey towards success. Trust in yourself, trust in the process, and know in your heart that you are worthy of all the love, success, and happiness the Divine has prepared for you.
You are enough, always have been, and always will be.
You deserve to be treated with love, kindness, and respect.
You are worthy of money, abundance, and unlimited success.
You don’t need to earn or prove your worthiness.
The Christ in you is worthy of love, compassion, and grace.
From my heart to yours,
