Have you ever found yourself in a seemingly perfect relationship that unexpectedly falls apart? You’re left heartbroken and confused, wondering, “What did I do wrong?” Or “What could I have done to avoid it?” In this week’s blog post, I’d like to share the five main reasons most relationships come to an end. Understanding them will help you avoid them.
There are many reasons why relationships end. These reasons could be a breakdown in communication, a loss of trust or respect, a lack of intimacy, or a difference in values and priorities. But when I asked clients why their relationships ended, these are the top five answers I heard the most.
Top Five Reasons Why Relationships End
1) Feeling Disconnected from the other Person
By far, the most common answer is that they felt disconnected from the other person. Conventional wisdom would tell us that the more time we spend with someone and the more we get to know them, the greater the feelings of connection. But time and knowledge about the other person are not what create a connection. Being vulnerable and real with others is what creates the sense of intimacy that allows two people to feel connected.
2) Feeling the Other Person is not Present
The second most common answer is that they felt the other person was not really there for them. They didn’t feel truly seen, heard, and appreciated by the other person. As if “they are there, but they’re not.” In a world filled with so many distractions, being fully present for another person represents its own unique set of challenges. But when you are truly present and available for another, you make it easier for others to feel connected to you.
3) You Want Different Things
Another reason commonly offered is they wanted two entirely different things. And while it’s natural to want different things in life, for a relationship to work, both partners need to have a clear, specific, and shared vision of what they want by being in a relationship with the other. For the relationship to go the distance, there needs to be a common direction. Without a good reason to be together, the relationship won’t last.
4) There’s a Major Misalignment
The misalignment can exist at one or several levels. It can be physical, mental, moral, social, cultural, emotional, or spiritual in nature. It can be at the level of core principles or values. The misalignment can also be due to a sudden spiritual awakening in the partner who feels disconnected from the other person. These misalignments are often ignored at the beginning of a relationship, but they become more obvious as the relationship progresses.
5) The Relationship Has Run Its Course
The last, most common reason was that they felt the relationship had run its course. Like a river that flows into the sea. The phrase “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime” shows this. A relationship is a vehicle for relating and learning. And once the learning is completed and the lesson learned, the relationship will shift and change.
Core Requirements of a Successful Relationship
Undoubtedly, relationships are the most complex and messy area of our human experience. Anyone who claims to have discovered the secret to successful relationships is lying. What we do know for certain is that what irresistibly draws people toward each other is the desire for connection. But connection isn’t enough. There must also be alignment and a shared vision of the relationship’s purpose.
These are the main ingredients that will help you go the distance. They are the core requirements of a successful relationship.
From my heart to yours,