Why True Love is Hard to Find in Today’s World

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By Gabriel Gonsalves

Personal mastery, leadership development, and spiritual growth with the heart in mind. 

Find in Today's World

Have you ever pondered why it’s so difficult to find true love in today’s world? Could it be the lack of connection between people, the shallow ways we interact, or something else? Is true love something only a few fortunate ones can experience? In this week’s article, I’d like to discuss what, I think, are the biggest challenges to finding true love in today’s world. Some will be obvious, others may surprise you.


One of the greatest challenges to finding true love in today’s world is the rise of dating apps and social media. While these platforms can be a great way to meet new people, they also promote a culture of instant gratification and superficial interactions. We are constantly bombarded with pictures and profiles of people who seem perfect on the surface, but we don’t get a chance to truly connect with them on a deeper level. We swipe left or right based on looks and a few lines of text, and often overlook the things that truly matter in a relationship.

Another challenge is the fast-paced nature of modern life. We are so busy with work, school, and other obligations that we don’t always take the time to nurture our relationships. We may have dozens of “friends” and “followers” on social media, but how many of those connections are truly meaningful? We need to slow down and prioritize the people who matter most to us if we want to build lasting relationships.

Another obstacle to finding true love is the fear of vulnerability. In today’s world, we are taught to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. While those are all admirable qualities, they can also make it difficult for us to open up and share our deepest thoughts and feelings with others. We may be afraid of being hurt, judged or rejected if we reveal too much of ourselves. But true love requires vulnerability and authenticity. We need to be willing to let our guard down and show our true selves if we want to find someone who loves us for who we are.

Another challenge is the attachment to the past, including past relationships and past traumas. For instance, a person who has been hurt in the past may find it hard to trust others or let someone into their life, making it difficult to build a new relationship. Similarly, a person may hold on to past relationships and compare every potential partner to their ex. Our experiences can shape our perceptions of ourselves and others, making it challenging for us to move on and form new connections. We need to be willing to let go of the past and fully open ourselves up to new opportunities and connections so that we can find true love we’ve been searching for.

Finally, I believe that one of the biggest challenges to finding true love in today’s world is the lack of empathy, understanding, and compassion. We live in a society that values individualism and self-interest over the common good. We often put our needs and wants ahead of others, and fail to truly listen and understand the perspectives of those around us. This lack of empathy keeps us from feeling compassion and can make it difficult for us to truly connect with others and build meaningful relationships. It’s important to take the time to truly listen and understand the people around us if we want to build deep and lasting connections.

Despite these challenges, I believe that true love is still possible in today’s world. It just requires a bit more effort and intentionality on our part. We need to take the time to truly connect with the people around us, to be vulnerable and authentic in our relationships, and to prioritize the things that truly matter. We also need to be willing to let go of the superficial and instant gratification culture that surrounds us, and to focus on building relationships that are grounded in empathy, compassion, and understanding.

Finding true love in today’s world is not easy, but it’s not impossible either. We must be willing to put in the effort and cultivate the inner conditions that will allow us to find someone who truly loves and accepts us for who we are.

True love is out there, waiting for those who are willing to search for it with an open heart and mind. So, please don’t lose hope. Because your true lover, as Rumi constantly reminds us, has been inside you all along.

From my heart to yours,

Find in Today's World