On February 17th, I received the news that shattered my heart: my dear friend Muhsin Hendricks, the world’s first openly gay Imam, had been murdered in Cape Town. As I sit with my grief here in Spain, thousands of miles from where we last embraced five years ago, waves of memories wash over me—each one a testament to the extraordinary courage and profound wisdom of a man who dared to reimagine what spiritual leadership could be.
Just weeks before his death, Muhsin had officiated a lesbian couple’s wedding, continuing his lifelong mission of creating sacred spaces for those whom others would exclude. It was this unwavering commitment to love and inclusion that ultimately cost him his life, bringing to my mind Jesus’s teaching: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
In a world where people constantly chase true happiness through external achievements—where success is measured in followers, finances, and fleeting pleasures—Muhsin showed a different path, one that led inward towards the depth of one’s own heart. His murder, likely motivated by the very hate and prejudices he spent his life fighting, transforms his message from powerful teaching into a living testimony.
A Legacy of Love and Courage
The name “Muhsin” means “one who does good to others” or “benefactor” in Arabic—a name that would prove prophetic in its accuracy. Like many great spiritual teachers whose names foretold their destiny, Muhsin lived as a true benefactor to those society had cast aside. Living up to his name wasn’t just a personal choice—it became his life’s mission, manifesting in ways that would transform countless lives.
During my time in South Africa, I witnessed how he built a thriving community of LGBTQ+ Muslims who had previously been exiled from their faith. In the face of death threats, condemnation, and constant rejection from religious authorities, he remained steadfast in his mission. What struck me most wasn’t just his courage, but the profound joy that radiated from him—a joy that came from living his truth and serving others, regardless of the cost.
“When they rejected me, condemned me, and tried to silence my voice,” he told me during one of our deep conversations, “I discovered that the very solitude they forced upon me became my gateway to the Divine. In that space, I found a happiness that no external circumstance could touch.”
The Heart’s True Calling
Through his Al-Ghurbaah Foundation—whose name beautifully means “the strangers” in Arabic, a perfect complement to his own name’s meaning of “benefactor”—Muhsin created more than just a sanctuary. I remember witnessing his work firsthand: a teenage girl, disowned by her family, finding not just shelter but purpose through his mentorship; a middle-aged man privately seeking guidance about how to deal with his own gay child; a group of parents transforming from critics to advocates after experiencing the depth of love and faith in his community.
Each story reflected his name’s meaning in action. Whether counseling individuals in crisis, mediating family conflicts, or standing firm against institutional resistance, Muhsin embodied the role of benefactor in increasingly courageous ways.
His approach to helping others find peace was deeply rooted in Islamic mysticism and universal spiritual principles. “God is not within the theology. God is not within a mosque,” he would often say. “God is within our own personal experience, our own journey, our own inner reflections.” This understanding shaped his entire approach to spiritual guidance, focusing not on rigid doctrine but on personal transformation and direct experience of the Divine.
“Your heart can’t hold fear and faith at the same time,” he would remind us, a teaching that became a cornerstone of his work with those struggling to reconcile their faith with their identity. This simple yet profound truth helped countless individuals move from a place of fear and self-doubt to one of trust and self-acceptance.
One practice that particularly moved me was his “Circle of Light” gatherings, where community members would sit together in sacred space, each sharing their story while others listened with complete presence and acceptance. These circles became transformative spaces where people could, often for the first time, speak their truth without fear of judgment.
The Price and Prize of Authentic Living
The path Muhsin chose wasn’t easy. He often shared with me the lonely nights, the weight of death threats, and the pain of being ostracized by his own religious community. There were times when he couldn’t walk freely in certain neighborhoods, when his own family struggled to understand his choices, when mosque doors closed at his approach. The price of authenticity was steep, paid in moments of isolation, misunderstanding, and very real danger.
Yet in those same conversations about hardship, his eyes would light up with an inner fire when speaking about the transformations he witnessed. He told me about a young gay Muslim man who, after years of contemplating suicide, found hope and purpose through the foundation. He spoke of parents who, initially rejecting their LGBTQ+ children, eventually became advocates for acceptance within their communities. He shared stories of religious leaders who, though publicly opposing his work, would privately seek his counsel about supporting their own struggling family members.
“The greatest joy,” he once told me, “isn’t in being accepted by others, but in accepting yourself so completely that you become a light for others to find their way home.” This wasn’t just a beautiful saying—it was the lived experience of someone who had walked through fire and emerged not just intact, but illuminated.
What Muhsin understood, and what his life demonstrated, was that authentic living isn’t about avoiding difficulty—it’s about choosing purpose over comfort, truth over safety, and love over fear. The prize of such choosing isn’t just personal peace, but the profound satisfaction of knowing that your courage creates space for others to find their own freedom.
Finding Your Own Path to Joy: Lessons from Muhsin’s Journey
What my friend’s life and death teach about finding true happiness is both profound and practical. Here are the essential lessons I learned from him:
1) Truth as Your Compass
When you channel your struggles into helping others, you transform your pain into purpose. Your personal challenges become bridges of understanding and connection. Muhsin often said, “The first step to true happiness is radical honesty with yourself.” He understood that joy isn’t found in fitting in, but in standing firmly in your truth, even when you stand alone. This doesn’t mean recklessly confronting every situation, but rather cultivating an unwavering commitment to your authentic self.
2) Transform Solitude into Sanctuary
When society pushed him to the margins, Muhsin didn’t fight the solitude—he transformed it. He taught that your moments of greatest isolation can become your most powerful opportunities for connection with the Divine. In your own life, how might you transform lonely moments into sacred solitude?
3) Service as a Source of Joy
“When you align your gifts with others’ needs,” he would say, “you tap into a happiness that no external circumstance can touch.” His life demonstrated that true fulfillment comes not from pursuing true happiness directly, but from using your unique gifts to serve others.
4) Courage to Choose Love
Despite the dangers he faced, Muhsin consistently chose love over fear. He showed that true happiness isn’t about avoiding pain or difficulty, but about choosing love repeatedly, even in the face of hatred and opposition.
5) The Power of Sacred Practice
When faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges—whether lack of funding for his organization or threats to his safety—Muhsin would retreat into deep silence, prayer, and fasting. He showed that true strength comes not from fighting external battles, but from deepening your spiritual connection. In moments of greatest difficulty, he would say, “The solution isn’t in struggling harder, but in surrendering deeper.”
The Science Behind True Happiness: Modern Validation of Timeless Wisdom
Modern research increasingly validates what Muhsin intuited through his spiritual practice. Studies from the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley reveal that sustainable, true happiness is more closely linked to living purposefully and serving others than to external achievements or circumstances. This research shows that individuals who prioritize meaning over material success report consistently higher levels of life satisfaction and emotional resilience.
The science of “post-traumatic growth,” pioneered by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, demonstrates how adversity, when met with courage and meaning, can lead to profound personal transformation. Their research identifies five areas of potential growth through adversity: deeper appreciation for life, more meaningful relationships, increased sense of personal strength, recognition of new possibilities, and spiritual development—all areas that Muhsin exemplified and cultivated in others.
Furthermore, recent studies in neuroscience show that practices of self-acceptance and compassion—cornerstones of Muhsin’s teaching—actually change brain structure, increasing gray matter in areas associated with emotional regulation and true happiness. This scientific validation of ancient wisdom reminds you that the path to joy isn’t about changing circumstances, but about transforming your relationship with yourself and your purpose in the world.
A Call to Living Wholeheartedly
As I honor Muhsin’s memory, I’m reminded that the path to true happiness isn’t about accumulating more or achieving more—it’s about becoming more fully yourself and offering your gifts more completely to the world. For me, this is what Heart Leadership and Mastery is all about. Muhsin’s life and death challenge you to examine your own journey toward authentic living and purposeful service.
Consider these reflective questions:
- What truth are you hiding from? Where in your life are you compromising your authentic self for the comfort of others?
- What gift are you hesitating to share? What unique contribution are you holding back out of fear or self-doubt?
- What love are you afraid to express? Who needs to hear your voice, even if speaking up comes with a cost?
The answers to these questions often reveal the very path you must walk to find your own unshakeable true happiness. As Muhsin showed, when you align your outer actions with your inner truth, you tap into a wellspring of joy that transcends circumstance.
The invitation is clear: to transform your struggles into service, your wounds into wisdom, and your challenges into channels for positive change. This is not just about personal fulfillment—it’s about contributing to the healing of our world through the courage to be fully yourself.
The Ultimate Teaching
In these times of global uncertainty and division, when it’s easier than ever to choose safety over truth, comfort over courage, Muhsin’s example stands as both invitation and challenge. His life—and now his death—call you to examine your own choices:
What truths are you willing to live for? What loves are you willing to die for? What gifts are you withholding from a world that desperately needs them?
The answer to these questions won’t be found in the comfortable spaces of your life, but deep within your heart, in those moments when you’re called to choose between what’s easy and what’s true. Muhsin’s legacy reminds you that your greatest joy—and your greatest contribution—comes not from playing it safe, but from following your heart’s deepest calling, whatever the cost may be.
Like other great spiritual warriors throughout history—Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr.—Muhsin’s message transcended his physical presence. Having been close to him during a significant period of his life, I believe his work didn’t end with his death—it’s about to enter a new phase. His message of love and compassion will continue to ripple through the thousands of Muslims whose lives he touched, and his death, rather than silencing his advocacy, will amplify it. The very attempt to extinguish his light will cause it to shine brighter, creating greater awareness of what he stood for and inspiring more people to carry forward his vision of a world where spiritual belonging isn’t determined by who you love, but by how you love.
Final Thoughts
To me, Muhsin fully exemplified what it means to be a Heart Leader. He understood that true leadership isn’t about position or power, but about the courage to stand for love in the face of hatred, for inclusion in the face of rejection, for truth in the face of fear. Like the great spiritual leaders who came before him, he became his message—living and, ultimately, dying for the truth he embodied.
Let his courage inspire yours. Let his death awaken your life. Let his legacy—and the profound meaning of his name—live on in every choice you make to be a benefactor to others, to choose love over fear, truth over comfort, service over safety. For in the end, Muhsin showed that true happiness comes not from what you receive, but from what you give—from becoming, as his name suggests, one who does good to others, whatever the cost.
May his beautiful soul rest in Allah’s eternal embrace, and may his message of love and acceptance continue to transform lives for generations to come.
From my heart to yours,
